Monkey see, monkey do!

When I was a kid the adults would use the phrase “monkey see monkey do”. On the surface I understood what they meant in saying this. I did not comprehend the importance of what I was seeing, listening to, and following. The phrase was often used when I followed a bad behavior or tried to do something that an adult did. I grew up around people who smoked. When I was a kid they used to sell gum that looked like cigarettes. I loved that gum because I could buy it, blow a cloud of smoke and get some candy out of it too. Thinking back, it was a brilliant marketing scheme for cigarette companies: make it cool to smoke. A product that kids can buy that makes them cool. When they become adults, they will be smoking or want to smoke. Monkey see monkey do.

Reflecting on my life, I notice how the phrase monkey see monkey do has impacted me during various stages in multiple ways. My dad loved basketball, although I never saw him play or remember if I did. I played basketball. I learned how to play mostly by watching games on television, then going to the park to attempt the same moves I saw. It worked! I became a solid basketball player with a high IQ. This was true for every sport I played. At age fifty, whenever I throw a football, baseball, or even kick a soccer ball, people ask if I played in college. Monkey see monkey do.

When I went to college and swung by my first party, I was instantly hooked. I watched people laugh, smile and act wild. More importantly, there were tons of ladies present. Over time, I was the one hosting the parties. The fact that I saw my father juggle women while he was married to my mother made this party lifestyle even more enticing. Although in college, I was doing exactly what my father did. The only difference was he did it on the streets and I did it in college. He drank and smoked weed daily and during my college days, that’s what I did. So much so, my love for basketball, music, and writing was lost in the fog. Monkey see Monkey do.

When I had a problem with my son’s mother, I used my strong voice and arrogance to manipulate the situation. Nearly every man during my youth gave me advice that the more women, the better. So it was a challenge for any woman to have my undivided attention. It did not matter how amazing they were. It got to a point where I started to friend zone women I respected and really liked because I knew I would cause them to hate me. Monkey see monkey do.

The first 35 years of life I was following behaviors that did not allow me to develop and grow. I was a good follower. I was just following the wrong people and the wrong ideas. Even at age 30, when I discovered a group of men who were established and well connected, I was unable to follow their values and or ideas. It was not until I hit my financial rock bottom that I began to evaluate myself as a whole. There was no monkey see monkey do reference in this situation. I looked at my debt. I looked at the years I had been working and the decisions I made, and I was disgusted with myself. I did not blame my boss, mom, children or the President. I blamed myself. My poor decision making and lack of knowledge about money left me with nothing.I needed to change, but more importantly I wanted to change. I really did not know how to change because I was comfortable with the way I was living. It was familiar. My grandfather told me that association causes simulation. I had to find people who have what I want and are doing what I want to do. The problem was, I wanted way more than anyone that I have ever encountered. The only way for me to get to where I want to go is to learn. Read books about starting from the bottom and self-development. Listen and follow people on social media who are about growth, mentally and physically. Monkey see monkey do.

For the last 8 years, I have been learning how to be a better father (my kids are grown), son, friend, boyfriend, employee, personal trainer, business owner, investor, writer, teacher, reader and overall person to name a few focal points. I have read dozens of books, listened to 100’s of podcasts and taken many classes to help develop my skills. I have been so frustrated at times that I wanted to quit. I have listened to the stories of Oprah, Walt Disney, and Dr. Seuss. They were rejected countless times. The story of the chemical 409. Four hundred and eight trials and it was the four hundred and ninth that made a product that we all used at some point in our life. I am not even close to where I am going to be. I have failed and made mistakes over and over. I am not the best at anything I do. I just keep reading, learning, and working on myself. I have more than I ever had. It’s not what I want. I want to be the best I can be. At some point I will share my goals with you. My goals are adjustable. Meaning that once I obtain a goal, I have just begun. I want wealth, health, and to be present long after I leave this earth in my physical form. This mindset I envisioned for myself as a child looking at the stars. The problem was I followed what I saw as the path to get there. Monkey see Monkey do.

Now I follow people who lead by example and I do that as well. My mentors I read about and learn from. I do not want to be like them. I am Wakime. All leaders at some point were followers. They followed leaders who followed leaders that led leaders. I just made that up. Monkey see monkey do!

Thank you for reading!

Your friend Wakime