Strike
Do you bowl? I do and it has been a blessing to start bowling again. I bowled here and there with my mother when I was a child. She was an avid bowler and bowled since I could remember. When I was a young man, she gave me her bowling ball. So, I used it every time I went bowling. My mother and I have had a rocky relationship since I was a teenager. I know she loved me and did the best she could with what she had. However, I always expected and wanted more until I did my own reflecting. Several years ago, I lost that bowling ball and not too long after it destroyed my mother and I’s relationship. I did that often so I did not have to face my fears of being hurt again.
When I was writing my book, I called my mother crying and she was there for me like she always had been. We think differently, we love differently, and still, I love the hell out of her. I have realized through our relationship that the best love is the free love. Not free in cost but free in the open sense. My mother has extremely different political views and she spends a significant amount of time watching the news. I remind her to read so she could form her own version of each story but she lets CNN tell it for her. My opinion is simple when it comes to politics and people. I have nothing to say about you, good or bad, unless I have shaken your hand and had several conversations with you. I have learned to do this from my life experiences and all the racism I have endorsed in my life. I was always hurt when people did not like me, or were scared of me because I was black. A very light black at that. Mixed black. I just discovered I was over .3% Italian. However, when people see you, they do not know all the cultures that exist within you. I guess deep down I knew I was Italian, I loved the culture and Italian women, even though they never liked me much. Anyway…. My attention span is wandering again. I never wanted to feel unliked, especially by people who didn’t know me. I am aware that people will not always like me and I understand and accept that. It is different from not liking someone because they were born into a group or associated with a group. My opinion about people when other people talk about them is, well nil. I cannot judge someone based on what other people tell me. So, the NEWS…. Is BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Fast forward a few months after I reconnected with my mother. She moved back to Connecticut, from Alabama leaving her husband. My oldest son Brandon and I flew down south and rented a U-Haul and drove her back to Connecticut. I have a small 800 ft condo that I bought cash in the summer of 2020. (I say that because it was one of the most powerful things I have in my life, buying a home cash that is. It was under 6 figures that’s why I could do it.). The plan was for me to get a condo for my mother and I was supposed to get a duplex or single-family home with my fiancé. As we know, plans do not always go as planned. 17 months later we are still in my condo. However, I am getting to know my mother again and, in all honesty, I really do not want her to leave. I am not a mama’s boy either. She is just an amazing person and I know that life is short and I want to enjoy her company.
After her fear of COVID-19 killing her if she went in public (thanks to CNN) we started bowling every Saturday. It’s dope man. I feel like I am living my childhood all over. Me and my mother do something together consistently. I bought balls, shoes, and all the accessories needed. I refuse to rock the bowling shirt, for now. My mother also plays in a league. When we first started, she would beat me often, but I have gotten better and now I rarely lose a game. She cheers for me even when I am kicking her butt. I have a hard time rooting for her unless I am beating her so badly that I know she can’t win the game. For me, these are special times and they mean a lot to me. I have a good feeling they mean a lot to her too. Hopefully we can do this together for the rest of our lives. I will learn to cheer for her even when she is beating me. It is just going to take some time.
“The worse rolled ball has made a strike”
WSH
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Wakime