Half a Mint

I had to be about 20, maybe 21 years old. I don’t remember the exact year or day. I believe it was the summer of 1993. I was pushing a red 1988 Mustang LX. It was the worst car I ever had. It was a candy apple red, had factory rims, and a kicker box in the back seat. I would put it in the trunk when I picked up my friends. The system sounded muffled when I did so. I had a portable CD player that I would use through the tape deck with a cassette adapter. It would skip everytime I hit a bump. I just started smoking weed on a daily basis and my dreams of being a professional basketball player shifted to becoming a rapper. I was drinking and driving, smoking and driving, living to get high, drunk and laid. Does this sound familiar to you and your post high school days? I worked at a summer camp where all of the camp counselors were doing the same. We would work all day playing and working with kids from ages 6-14, then go play ball, eat, and find a place to hang out all night partying. This was how I spent most of my summers while in college. This carried on until the summer of 1994 when all my anger and my victim mentality burst. I flipped on my mother and took a knife, putting several holes in our wall. I never went back home. I was arrested and although the charges were dropped this pattern would become all too familiar to me.
I had big dreams and plans for my basketball career and future. I put about 25% effort into this dream. So when it wasn’t going the way I wanted it to go, I quit. This also became a pattern in my life. It was so easy to quit and make up an excuse, especially when you were actually good at something. People would believe my lies and in time I would too. The summer of 1993 was the best time of my life. I had a summer job, a car, and I had access to more pot than I could smoke and a few naive girls who liked me. My basketball dream was still alive because my 5 would go around to all the local courts and dominate. When I played ball, your true rep was made in the park. If you couldn’t perform in the park it did not matter what you did in high school or college no one would respect your game. I earned that respect and the players I rocked with did too. We were not afraid of any five. We won more than we lost and when we showed up people watched. Basketball was the only positive activity that made me feel good at this time.
This story is not about basketball, sex, or drugs. This story is about a half of a mint. My cousin Selwin that I grew up with and I talked often especially when I wanted some specialized weed. I would go get him in Mount Vernon. We would head to the Bronx and get an assortment of different types of weed. We would go play ball somewhere. Head out to get some smoke, drive, and get high. We would keep the windows up until we could not breathe anymore. Then we would listen to Nas, Wu, Snoop, and any other hot rap artist. We would argue about dumb shit and laugh at the same. It was our way of bonding.
It was a hot summer day. We had been driving around smoking and listening to music all afternoon and evening. It was close to the end of my night and I was about to head home. We drank all the beverages that we had. Both of our mouths were dry and we were looking for gum or some type of mint or candy. If you are a smoker or smoked, you know what I am talking about. Selwin finally found a peppermint. He was like damn, I only have one” I was all set with not having a mint but he said, “we going to split this.” A small mint and a whole one in my opinion is not enough for one person. So he opened the mint and proceeded to break it with his hands. It was not broken at all. To my surprise he gave me the bigger piece of the mint. There was a different type of love I had from my cousin Selwin from that point on. I do not know what it was. That was just the most caring thing that someone ever did for me. I don’t recall anyone in my life giving me the last of something they had just because they wanted to. Although I didn’t know how at the time, I was going to show him that same type of love when the opportunity came around. The mint wasn’t the only way he showed me pure love.

Several years later,I was in a toxic relationship. Yea I was toxic, still can be when I see my past in my future. I am just aware and can pull myself away quickly so I don’t fall into the cycle. Back then, I was falling apart and didn’t want to live. Once again, I was trying to take the easy way out. I called Selwin up, told him what was going on and how I wanted to take my own life. I do not recommend his response. However, for me at the time it was what I needed to hear. He said “ Don’t ever call me with no dumb shit like this”, and hung up the phone. I was furious at him at that moment. I wanted to be babied and I wanted some to talk me out of the situation, show me adoration. I focused on him dissing me and giving me the opposite of what I wanted to hear. He said what I needed to hear. It was tough love and for me it worked.
“Life drew us apart” is the excuse we use when we drift from each other. My distance from Selwin was not intentional. I wanted to give him what he has always given me. Unconditional love and truth. The truth hurts, I mean it really hurts. Once you can face it, you can grow. The two situations are different and they both demonstrated to me loyalty and love. We both had it rough growing up and somehow, at least with me, he had a gentle loving heart. I was rough and hardened for most of my life. He showed me you can be tough and loving at the same time. I tried to take that and use it in my life. I am still working on that.
In the Summer of 2019, we were at a family reunion and his oldest son who played basketball was there. I wanted to get to know him. I invited him to my home for the weekend to play ball and get away. Although his son at the time thought I was some “corn ball” as he told me after we got close, he came up and spent some time with me,during which offered him some opportunities. Those opportunities landed him a scholarship at a catholic school near me and a new world much different from Mount Vernon. I did this with no thought, and from day one he was my son and still is. Covid-19 halted his senior year and a possible Basketball state championship as well as a college basketball scholarship. You will hear about this young man in future. He is special.
It started with a peppermint.. That red and white breath freshener eventually turned into a bond between two people that can not be broken.I did not owe my cousin anything. I wanted to give him everything that could to help him or anyone in his family have a better chance at life. I didn’t do it because he was family. I won’t take people into my home permanently just because they are family. Neither would you. I did it because his actions towards me were worthy of me returning the same type of loyalty and love. He is a friend, a cousin and someone who I value and trust. If he appreciates me a portion of the way I appreciate him, then I am doing a good job in life. I do not care about what most people think of me. I do care of what certain people close to me think, and he is one of them. I love you Little Big Cuz!

Family or friends, the real ones always show up!

Thanks for reading. If you have someone who you need to tell that you love them today; REACH OUT NOW!

Your friend,
Wakime