Remembering my friend
Thank you. I know I never said that to you when I had the chance. Thank you for being my first friend after I moved to Connecticut. Who would have thought you would live the life you lived back in 1982 on your 13th birthday? Our friendship wasn’t separated by hard feelings. You moved away, and we both moved forward with life. I was taken back when your sister sent me this photo and told me you were gone. I was trying to recall the last time we saw each other. My guess would be over 35 years. Still and all, I remembered how you helped me transition from New York to Greenwich. It was the most difficult transition of my childhood.
You were one of my few friends who ever met my father, and it was around this time my father and mother separated. You were there for me during that time, keeping me busy with boy stuff—bike riding, sports, and, of course, MTV videos. We had so much in common, the older brother of two sisters, and now we both shared the responsibility of being the man of the house. Both of us then had to adjust to stepfathers.
At age 13, you were just happy to have a cake and to be able to play and be a kid. Today is different because that kid who was my friend, the older brother, the father, the son, and the friend to others is no longer here in our presence physically. You will always be tattooed in our worlds.
Moving to Connecticut was a tumultuous time for me. I left behind everything familiar, and stepping into a new school in a new town was overwhelming. Then, there you were—my first friend in this unfamiliar place. Your easy-going nature and readiness to include me in your world made all the difference. It’s funny how vividly I remember that first time I saw you on your grandmother’s front porch. Looking for a friend and there I was.
The memories we made together are etched in my mind, from the simple joy of riding our bikes through the neighborhoods of Greenwich to the excitement of discovering new music videos on MTV. Back then, those moments were everything. We spent countless hours exploring, laughing, and sharing our dreams. You provided a sense of stability and camaraderie when I needed it most. You helped me find my footing during a time when I felt lost and out of place.
I remember the thrill of racing down the street on our bikes, feeling the wind rush past us. We would talk about our favorite music, the latest video games, and our plans for the future. Those were days filled with innocence and joy, where the world seemed vast and full of endless possibilities.
The news of your passing hit me like a tidal wave. It was hard to process that someone who had once been such a vital part of my life was no longer here. I am your childhood friend not knowing your wife and your children. The feeling of meeting your wife like this was not easy.
As I look back, I realize how significant your role was in helping me navigate my parents’ separation. You were more than just a friend; you were a pillar of strength. You knew exactly how to keep my mind off the chaos at home, engaging me in activities that allowed me to just be a kid. Your support during that difficult time was invaluable, and I don’t think I ever truly expressed how grateful I was for that.
We were both thrust into the role of being the man of the house at a young age. It was a responsibility neither of us asked for but accepted nonetheless .( we both sucked as kids at it a must add) We bonded over this shared experience, finding solace in each other’s company. It was a unique connection, understanding the pressures and challenges we each faced at home being the only males in our household and then having a stepdad.
As we grew older, our paths diverged, but the bond we formed remained strong in my memories. You moved away, and we lost touch, but I always remembered you. Life took us in different directions, yet the impact you had on me during those formative years stayed with me.
Your 13th birthday stands out in my mind due to the phot0 your sister sent me. You were so full of life, just happy to have a cake and celebrate with me. It was a simpler time when our biggest worries were about school projects or getting home before curfew. Who could have predicted the man you would become?
You wore many hats—older brother, son, father, and friend—and I hope you wore them well. The world feels a bit emptier without you in it, but your memory continues to live on in the hearts of those who knew and loved you.
Though you are no longer here physically, your presence remains. You left an indelible mark on my life and the lives of many others. Your kindness, strength, and unwavering support are qualities I strive to embody in my own life.
Thank you for being my first friend in Connecticut, for helping me through one of the toughest times in my childhood, and for the countless memories that still bring a smile to my face. Your legacy is one of love, friendship, and nickname” boogernoit” will live on. You will always be remembered and cherished. Rest in peace, my friend.
