Avoidence

Avoidance was the primary reason for my mediocre performance during my college and early adult years. I was a master of procrastination. I even avoided acknowledging uncomfortable truths about myself and missed countless opportunities for self-improvement. Take a moment to think about the things you currently avoid. Without even knowing you, I can predict that many of the things you avoid are precisely those that could catalyze your growth and enhance your life.

Now, some of you, the fellow master avoiders reading this, might say things like, “I avoid my ex because they are toxic,” or “I avoid public places because of the violence.” To that, I can only say: you are not ready to become the best version of yourself because you are still finding excuses to avoid situations. PERIOD! In my experience, I avoided challenges that seemed daunting and confronting my fears. But facing your fears is the best way to live!
One of my biggest fears during college was not being good enough to play basketball at the collegiate level. Everyone around me had immense confidence that I would excel in collegiate basketball. However, I didn’t share their confidence. So, I avoided team meetings, conditioning sessions, strength training, captains’ practices, and even tryouts. I essentially did nothing to get on the team. To this day, I believe I could have been a very good, if not great, college player if I had just put in the effort. I will never know now, and it remains my biggest regret as well as my ultimate fuel today.
As a trainer, teacher, and parent, I see people avoiding challenges all day. At the gym, when it’s time to do burpees or a difficult movement, people suddenly need to fix their hair, tie their shoes, or get a drink of water. At school, when it’s time to work, students suddenly need to go to the restroom or get a pass. At home, when it’s time to do chores, my kids complain of headaches or claim they do more work than their siblings. Avoidance is at the root of poor or low performance. It is nearly impossible to avoid the work you should be doing and still perform at a high level.
Fear is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat. This belief is what causes fear. For instance, people are afraid of heights because they think they will fall. However, the fear often does not match the actual risk. Not many people fall just because they are high up. Our minds create a picture of us being hurt by our fears, but this often isn’t the reality.
How did I overcome avoidance behavior? I began to face my fears each day. Here are a few strategies that helped me conquer avoidance:
Do the Difficult Task First: Tackle the most challenging tasks first thing. This reduces the temptation to put them off.
Finish Immediately: Complete tasks as soon as possible. Procrastination only increases anxiety and reduces performance.
Eliminate Delays: Why wait to do something you can do now? By acting immediately, you break the habit of avoidance.
If you are someone who avoids challenges, start changing that behavior today. I promise you, it will help you move forward in every aspect of your life. Embrace your fears, tackle your challenges head-on, and watch yourself transform into the best version of yourself.